My graphic designer/video editor, Elijah, just got married!
I thought it would be nice to share with you some of the customs, traditions, and superstitions that Filipinos observe when it comes to weddings and marriage.
Here’s Julia sharing some of them.
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Engagement and wedding planning
A pre-colonial custom that’s still being practiced today is “pamamanhikan” or the bridal meeting. This is usually at the bride’s house, where the groom formally asks for the bride’s hand from her family, with his parents to show support.
If the bride’s family accepts the groom’s proposal, the parents will then negotiate the bride price (the amount of money or goods the groom’s family will pay in exchange for the bride) and plan the wedding.
Nowadays, the “pamamanhikan” is more of a meet-the-parents situation, usually a small, family-only engagement party. But in deeply rural areas and among some indigenous Filipino tribes, the more traditional “pamamanhikan” is still practiced.
Setting the date
A common superstition among many Filipinos is that one’s wedding date can influence the success of their marriage. Some consult numerologists and Feng Shui experts to determine the best wedding dates. Like, they avoid getting married on the 4th, 14th, or 24th because the number 4 is associated with death.
A more practical custom that’s gaining popularity is to check with their weather bureau (Pag-asa) so they can set their wedding for months that have the least number of typhoons.
Pre-wedding requirements and legalities
Filipinos can legally get married at 18, but parental consent is required for couples 18 to 21 years old.
Also, whether you’re getting married in a church or through a civil ceremony, the Philippine government requires couples to take a pre-wedding seminar to obtain a license to marry. The pre-wedding seminar teaches couples about family planning, the importance of a good marriage, and preparing for children. There’s even a copy of the training manual online.
Government-sponsored mass weddings
Like in the US, weddings in the Philippines can get expensive, especially church weddings. The average cost for a church wedding in the Philippines is around $5,000 (~P300,000), but it can easily balloon to $9,000 (~P500,000) if it’s a big fancy wedding.
Being a predominantly Catholic country, it’s important for many Filipinos to get married in a church. It’s not a “real” wedding unless it’s done in church.
This is why sometimes local politicians would sponsor mass church weddings for their constituents. The couples just need to register and bring their wedding attire, while the government covers the costs of the wedding venue and reception. These are mostly availed by couples who have been living together and have started a family, but are not married.
The reception and wedding gifts
Most Filipino wedding receptions will have a lechon (spit-roasted whole animal). Depending on the budget, it might be a chicken lechon, pork lechon, or, if you’re really fancy, you can lechon an entire cow.
Another wedding reception staple is sticky rice dessert, symbolizing the couple’s commitment to “sticking together” throughout their lives.
When it comes to how much guests should spend on the wedding gift, it usually depends on how close you are to the couple. Those who are part of the wedding party are the ones expected to give the most extravagant gifts or the most money.
Speaking of money, the newlyweds have what is called the “money dance” or “prosperity dance.” This is when guests pin real paper money to the bride and groom’s clothes while dancing.
The most common and traditional wedding gifts in the Philippines are household goods, such as items that a couple can use in their new home, especially those made of wood or natural materials. Money is always welcome because it helps the couple pay for their wedding costs. The only item that most Filipinos consider bad luck to bring to a wedding is knives, because they symbolize cutting or breaking a relationship.
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It’s unlikely that you’ll ever be involved in one of your OFS weddings, but just knowing some of the culture is helpful.
John