When your OFS has a death in the family

Death is a sad and undeniable part of life. It’s a universal experience that’s treated differently in different cultures.

For most Filipinos, the whole family has to chip in to help organize and pay for everything.

And “everything” is a LOT!

That’s why, when there’s a death in the family, your OFS may ask to take a week or two off. They’re not just there to grieve with the family. They’ll mobilize and work to ensure their loved one gets a proper send-off.

I asked Julia about this, and she gave me a long list of things they do when a family member dies. So, I will let her take over from here.
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Here are just some of the responsibilities that Filipino families are expected to do on the death of a loved one.

1. Bathe and prepare the clothes of the deceased.
2. Deal with the hospital and funeral home. Settling the bill and filling up paperwork.
3. Contact out-of-town and out-of-country family members. Help them with their travel arrangements and prepare their accommodations.
4. Deal with the paperwork related to the deceased. For example, contact SSS to inform them of the death or avail of death benefits. Get the death certificate and submit it to utilities or accounts connected to the deceased.
5. Prepare the photos, videos, and text for use in death announcements on social media and at the funeral home. Have signs printed out for the location of the wake and funeral.
6. Organize the wake and create a schedule so every family member has a shift and the deceased is never alone.
7. Make, buy, and prepare food for the family and guests during the wake.
8. Bring clean bedding and toiletries for family members who stay overnight at the wake (if the wake is done at a funeral home).
9. Ordering and preparing other supplies needed for the wake and funeral, such as fresh flowers, candles, a guest book, prayer books, disposable utensils for the food, etc.
10. If the wake is done at home, re-arrange the furniture for the casket and make sure the house is ready for guests.
11. Organize the religious rites by contacting a priest or pastor, scheduling a mass, buying supplies, etc.
12. Depending on the family, they might want to set up gambling tables at night to help keep people awake and to help with the funeral expenses.
13. Reach out to different government and non-government agencies for financial support for the funeral.
14. Arranging food and drinks for the family and guests at the funeral and after the funeral.
15. Do the accounting for the wake and the funeral to ensure there is enough money for all the expenses or to seek additional funds if needed.
16. Dealing with the cemetery administration. This involves scheduling the funeral, renting a tent and chairs for the funeral, preparing the burial site, etc.
17. Take photos and videos during the wake and funeral to share with family members and friends who can’t visit.
18. Renting vehicles and coordinating with the local government and traffic authorities to help with the funeral parade or vehicular convoy from the funeral home to the cemetery and back.
19. Set up a livestream during the wake and funeral for family members and friends who can’t visit.
20. Organize prayers and get-together for the 9th day after the funeral.

Those are just the ones I know of because I’ve done and have helped with these tasks. I know the rest of my family have done more.

It’s a lot, but it’s our way of grieving. This is how we show our love. 

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I’ll add a few thoughts
– Until the deceased is buried, Filipino culture says someone must be with the deceased 24/7. This is likely your OFS since they “don’t have a real job”.
– Travel in the Philippines is long.  Think 14 hour boat rides, then hours of bus, then a jeepney. So many people live far from family.

If your OFS asks to take a week or two weeks because of a death, it’s legit.
Or, if your OFS says they can’t work for you anymore because of a death in the family, it’s because they know they need a week or two off work and are worried you’ll be mad at them.

John